+ J.M.J.A.T. +

Friday, September 30, 2011

One of the Best (and most practical) Perks of Being a Sister

There are big changes happening in the diocese in which I live especially as regards Catholic education.  I love Catholic education.  It is my life - my heart and my soul are completely invested in the formation of children in the Catholic tradition and excellence in education.  My dream is that there will be a new springtime of birth in intellect and will in our Catholic schools which calls forth saints of God to serve the Church in this future age.  In order for that to happen we have a lot of work to do in our Catholic schools which has made for some very fun community times as well.

Because my community is one of educators, I have the great gift of being able to call up a "sister" of mine and ask her what's new... what is happening at her school... did she go to the workshop... does she have any new materials... what is she working on.... and this is exactly what is happening in my life right now.  It has been so much fun.  Often people talk about sisters praying together, which is really wonderful... I love praying with my sisters.  But, working together is something that brings us together in a more creative way.

Today I got to connect with a sister who I really respect as an educator and receive information from her on what I was doing and get immediate feedback on my work.  It was great.  I also talked to a friend of mine who is younger and asked her what she was working on.  I also worked with someone I live with but who ministers at a different school - and yet again, another perspective was added to my own.

The other night this sister and I sat down in the community room with all the information both of us had collected about a particular change in the education system in the diocese and we were so excited by the time we put our heads together and came up with something workable.  The excitement, passion, and unity was able to be filled in the air.  It was a wonderful experience in working together.

What a gift it is to have such a proliferation of gifts all working on the same project - what a joy!  what a work!  Thank God we have one another to work with and to build upon.  God, I am just so thankful for each and every one of my sisters; for the intelligent, gifted, passionate, and wonderful women who surround me with their faith, love, prayer, sacrifice, and work.  Thank You!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

I had the strangest experience the other night.  As I've mentioned before I love to drive through the city, especially at night when there is no traffic, and I was coming home late the other night and decided to take the "scenic" route.  As I was watching the cars and the lights and the people and reflecting on the very good meeting I was returning from I was overwhelmed by the goodness of God to me.  How, when I look at all these people, have I been so blessed to live and work and have my being in this great God?  How, after all the missteps I should have fallen into, have I become this woman I could not have even imagined five years ago, not for myself and not for anyone else either?  What have I done to deserve the community I love, the apostolate in which I experience redemption, and the intimate relationship with the King?

I know it is nothing I have done but it still boggles my mind... how did I end up here?  I ask this question not in disbelief but in awe of what God can do with so little - with less than anything at all.  When I look at my past and my experiences of life... I should have been a disaster.  There is little to nothing that would indicate that I would ever be a woman religious.  I could never think of a better life and I am humbled that God would want me, that in spite of all my flaws and my sinfulness, He would desire me.

It was a painful transformation into this person I never knew but who is me entirely.  It required facing masks, accepting loss and transition, losing control, surrendering, sacrifice, and being open to a whole other person - the one God always desired me to be but the one that I never was.

Now, I know God's work with me is not done.  The transformation is never complete until eternal life with Him.  But I am, if I might use a strange word, in harmony with my whole self and with God.  There is no wall, no huge contradiction, no mask, no hiding, no compensation - just life with Him and His people.  It is freedom.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Anxiety

I wish I was about to share some words of wisdom and comfort or some spiritual gleaning I've experienced in a time of anxiety; however, I have nothing.  Without going into detail, I've been working myself up over something all weekend.  I have prayed and distracted myself but until I actually act - I'm going to continue to be preoccupied.  I'm a worrier.  I can worry about things a normal person would never even think of.  This time I'm worried about something worth worrying though and I'm having a hard time pushing it out of my mind until I need to think about it.  On a Sunday afternoon though there isn't much to do that distracts me.

I tried writing my lessons for school - and I did - but it was an exercise in concentration and it took painfully long.  I took frequent breaks to look up again and again the same things on the internet trying to find some answers.  I didn't even make my bed I'm so tired from all this worrying.  It all seems ridiculous doesn't it?  But that is the human condition.

At this point I'm not hoping or praying for a positive outcome or good news... I'm praying for an accurate outcome and quick news so that I can get some relief from all this worry.  So, pray for me?  Thanks