This morning I felt so much comfort in the response to the psalm at Mass, "In every age, O Lord, you have been our refuge." This is probably going to be a really scattered post because I'm still thinking myself about everything that has happened in Philadelphia in the past few days. Another indictment and another scandal has come out again. It breaks the hearts of the people - the priests, the religious, the laity, the victims. I'm still working it out in my mind and heart right now. I have tried to post a few times but have stopped each time because I'm just not sure what to say.
I can't describe the sorrow I feel about everything. I really do believe in faith that God is allowing us to experience this terrible mortification and purification right now for our own good. When I look at the state our Church is in at this time I just wait and watch to see the great holy men and women God will call to do His work... to rebuild His Church. My students fill my heart with hope as I watch their hearts slowly be enflamed through the purifying fire that is upon us now.
We received a letter to send home to parents after the news broke but the teachers were not allowed to comment on it. My kids being the holy-rollers they are, wanted to read it right away when they saw it was from the Cardinal. As I told them to put the letters in their backpacks they reminded me, "But Sister, this is important. It's from the Cardinal!" The next day they wanted us to talk about it again. I wish I could have but I was under not permitted to do so. Instead we spoke about how God could be calling them to be the hope and the future of the Church. A few days before we were talking about the story of Abraham and the idea of sacrificing our wills. My students came up with a few ways they could try to sacrifice their wills. They are really competitive so it wasn't hard at all for me to get them to think of the best way to beat themselves! They decided that they would offer one of those sacrifices for the Archdiocese of Philadelphia without any prompting of my own.
How much will God listen to the sacrifices of His dear children in response to the pain and hurt of His children before? I believe their sacrifices will be what saves us.
I have to be honest when I say that I am angry at those who have caused this to happen to our Church. That is not to say that I believe everything in the media but that I'm sure what they report has happened at some point and I am furious with a righteous anger that we have been betrayed as a Church and as children of God. I am also convinced that God will raise up leaders whose holiness will be a brilliant light for the world.
We are at such a unique time where the sin of the world has entered into the Church and we are losing more and more everyday - not to say that there aren't any hopeful signs - but to be truthful that it is a difficult time for anyone to follow Christ. I really believe that there will be a new springtime of generous sacrifice, radical love, and deep conversion to living the Gospel. At the same time I hope they don't resent the rest of us too much for our shortcomings. They have been failed.
Please join with me in prayer that God does for us what we need... that He cares for us as His children and that He protects the children under our care now and always. Jesus, we need you! Amen.