Nothing really has happened to make me feel so 'bleh'. It is just difficult being a religious, a teacher, a blood sister, a daughter, a friend, and a speaker. In each of those categories a million other things are required and they never fit into the twenty four hours I'm allotted each day (which is something I've been meaning to ask God about! Why such short days?! :) )
As a religious I spend about two hours a day in scheduled prayer. I live in community where I have charges to do and common life to participate in through meals, prayers, friendship, and chatter. As a teacher I am counselor, friend, parent, confidant, grader, planner, and a million other things. I still have a family that I never talk to and wish I could. My friends are getting engaged and married and sometimes I can't even keep track anymore!
I love my life, but sometimes I live it better than others. Sometimes I have so much energy and I get that balance so right and I feel like a million bucks. Those are the times when I feel like super - nun. When it all doesn't quite come together; when my emails are busting my inbox seams, when the papers, tests, and homework assignments are up to my eyeballs, when I'm running in the door just in time for prayers, when I'm going to sleep at midnight, and when I'm forgetting everything not attached to me... I wonder if I can actually do it!
This is one of those times... yet here I am blogging. Maybe not the best use of time, but it does help put a name on this lack of "super-nun" feeling. And it has given me some perspective. Jesus didn't call me to be successful and to be super-nun. He called me to be the woman I am in the life He chose for me in relationship with Him. I have to learn to be humble enough to accept my shortcomings and failings.
Sister,
ReplyDeleteI found your blog on Saint Blogs parish and this was the first post I saw. I had a really bad day yesterday and woke up still feeling a little bit blah. I really needed this this morning.
God bless you!
JMJDTF+
~Miria Rose
Totus tuus Maria! Let's see what the good God wills.
I'm glad it was helpful for you today! We all have those days! Know of my prayers for you!
ReplyDeleteSister Marie,
ReplyDeleteWork is work and life is life, and I'm pretty sure the "super-moms" of the world go through the same ups and downs. I am pretty sure of this because some of my own sisters (blood relatives) and sisters-in-law are "super-moms." Life would be boring if you and I were perfect every day, though maybe it would be smoother...but the fact that Jesus chose us to be all HIS...well, that, dear Sister, makes it all so, so worth it!!