I hate this word - correction... I just honestly hate it. Sometimes I try to act like I don't hate it. Sometimes I try to convince myself that it is a growth in holiness to be corrected. Maybe it is... however; it still stinks!
I don't know if I was corrected tonight but I felt like I was. Either it was a helpful suggestion or a downright correction... I'm not sure. Either way, my ego didn't like it. Not at all. I had some really high hopes for a little meeting I had today with a Sister but no matter how many compliments or applauds I get... those corrections stay with me and ruin it all. Maybe I'm terrible at humility. Maybe I have no virtuous motives. Maybe all I care about is looking good to other people. I don't know... but I do know that I hate to be corrected.
I know in faith that it is good for me. I also know that I value deeply in community the fact that we are able to share with one another... sometimes it hurts. Sharing with one another requires that I be able to admit my shortcomings, accept constructive criticism, share my desires and hopes, and think of Christ and His Church before I think of my own interests. Community demands that I be able to both value myself and put myself, good and worthwhile, as last instead of first.
I think I might be praying about this struggle a lot in these next few weeks and as the summer months give me more time with myself and with God in prayer. Thanks be to God! I hope that He enlightens me with peace and growth.