+ J.M.J.A.T. +

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Panic and Peace

Well... here is the update... I've lost it all.  There is no retrieving any of my information on my broken flash drive. I have been spending quite a bit of time trying to make up for so much lost work so I haven't been writing too much.

I bet many of my kids had a little breakdown before they had to come back to school after a whole week off.  I mean, it's daunting to have time to be free and then know how much work is ahead of you.  I had the same experience right before school started back up again this week!  While I stayed pretty calm for a few days after the flash drive incident when I went to school to get prepared to teach this past week I was very very upset.

When I told the kids what happened their first question was, "Did you cry, Sister?"  The answer is YES.  It was so overwhelming to lose so much work.  I didn't even know where to begin again.  I had everything planned for the year.  What I realized though was that God was shaking me up a little bit.  Everything has been going to well for me but it has been due to my reliance on myself and not on Him.  I don't think HE broke my flash drive, haha, but He did use it for His own purposes.

I really think that feeling uncomfortable is a sign for me of God working in  my life.  Anytime I get too comfortable with myself, my apostolate, my prayer, my community; I see God throw some loops into my perfect world so that I can practice trusting Him and allowing Him to be in control of my life.  I have a really hard time doing that.  Discomfort lets me know that I'm on the right path.  That discomfort forces me to be more intentional in the way I live religious life and the way I serve God's people.  It's a great tool for me to grow.

So, while my lost flash drive is a huge setback in my schoolwork, it is a forward movement in relationship with God.  I'm trying to remind myself of that as I work through the weekend.  Thank God it snowed and I wouldn't have been able to go out anyway!

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