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Friday, February 19, 2010

"Did you oversleep Sister?"

Yes, I guess that because you are in my doorway right now, five minutes after morning prayer started, and I am just drifting back into consciousness that I did in fact oversleep. That is how my day started today! I used to think before I entered the convent that days began so romantically in the silence being with the Beloved. That is true for me quite often. I am a morning person so I am naturally suited to live a life where getting up early is a daily occurrence. However, the going to bed late and waking up early sometimes is not as romantic as I thought it might be. I still drag myself out of bed and get dressed and quickly get to Chapel so that I can have my Holy Hour in the morning before the day begins and I am always happy once I am in the presence of the Lord.

After my hasty dressing, I made it to Mass with ten minutes to spare and I prayed my shorter Christian Prayer privately. The sisters in my community always say "You must have needed it, the community prayed for you today." It is true that I shared in the prayer of the community even though I was letting the Beloved speak to me even as I slumbered this morning. However, for my own peace, I tried to resume the same rhythm a normal day usually brings. I rarely ever oversleep but it always throws me off when I do. Once I got to school though things seemed to get back to normal.

When I got home from school I went to clean up the mess I had left my room in this morning. I made my bed and fixed the sink and checked if I needed to wash any of my habits or night clothes. At once I felt better for having put everything in order.

I started thinking about Lent as a time to stop waking up late and "just getting by" and to really clean up the clutter that begins to form in my soul. It is true that there is a lot of clutter that I have been just allowing to accumulate all this time. All year I have been saying, "I'll get to it when I have more time." I guess that is why the Lord has given us this season of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.

Some of the things I have seen in myself that have clouded my vision have been a focus on myself and my needs that leaves others out, the pain of broken family relationships, the resistance to change, the unwillingness to trust, and the difficulty of desolate prayer. I have put a lot of these things to the side for attention at some other time. The time is now. I know that Jesus is ready to help me clean up all of this clutter and put my life with Him back in order. It is time to get my priorities straight.

On top of that, I did get word about my assignment. It is a penance indeed and I will pray that I make an acceptable offering out of it, doing all for God's greater glory, with joy and simplicity.

This one seems appropriate for me today:

"Every morning to receive from the hands of Jesus Christ himself your own cross."

- St. Alphonsus

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