Scattered

This morning I felt so much comfort in the response to the psalm at Mass, "In every age, O Lord, you have been our refuge."  This is probably going to be a really scattered post because I'm still thinking myself about everything that has happened in Philadelphia in the past few days.  Another indictment and another scandal has come out again.  It breaks the hearts of the people - the priests, the religious, the laity, the victims.  I'm still working it out in my mind and heart right now.  I have tried to post a few times but have stopped each time because I'm just not sure what to say.

I can't describe the sorrow I feel about everything.  I really do believe in faith that God is allowing us to experience this terrible mortification and purification right now for our own good.  When I look at the state our Church is in at this time I just wait and watch to see the great holy men and women God will call to do His work... to rebuild His Church.  My students fill my heart with hope as I watch their hearts slowly be enflamed through the purifying fire that is upon us now.

We received a letter to send home to parents after the news broke but the teachers were not allowed to comment on it.  My kids being the holy-rollers they are, wanted to read it right away when they saw it was from the Cardinal.  As I told them to put the letters in their backpacks they reminded me, "But Sister, this is important.  It's from the Cardinal!"  The next day they wanted us to talk about it again.  I wish I could have but I was under not permitted to do so.    Instead we spoke about how God could be calling them to be the hope and the future of the Church.  A few days before we were talking about the story of Abraham and the idea of sacrificing our wills.  My students came up with a few ways they could try to sacrifice their wills.  They are really competitive so it wasn't hard at all for me to get them to think of the best way to beat themselves!  They decided that they would offer one of those sacrifices for the Archdiocese of Philadelphia without any prompting of my own.

How much will God listen to the sacrifices of His dear children in response to the pain and hurt of His children before?  I believe their sacrifices will be what saves us.

I have to be honest when I say that I am angry at those who have caused this to happen to our Church.  That is not to say that I believe everything in the media but that I'm sure what they report has happened at some point and I am furious with a righteous anger that we have been betrayed as a Church and as children of God.  I am also convinced that God will raise up leaders whose holiness will be a brilliant light for the world.

We are at such a unique time where the sin of the world has entered into the Church and we are losing more and more everyday - not to say that there aren't any hopeful signs - but to be truthful that it is a difficult time for anyone to follow Christ.  I really believe that there will be a new springtime of generous sacrifice, radical love, and deep conversion to living the Gospel.  At the same time I hope they don't resent the rest of us too much for our shortcomings.  They have been failed.

Please join with me in prayer that God does for us what we need... that He cares for us as His children and that He protects the children under our care now and always.  Jesus, we need you!  Amen.

Science Class

Today, I went to Shop and Save to get some materials for my science class experiment.  I had to get, among other things, some carrots.  While I was waiting in line the woman behind me was talking to me and asked me if I was cooking for the nuns tonight.  When I told her it was for a science experiment she definitely thought I was crazy.  But I explained to her that I teach science and she was thrilled.  

I love that I'm a sister who teaches science.  I teach my homeroom's religion and I love teaching religion.  I went to school and studied theology but here I am.  What is so awesome about being a sister who teaches science to middle schoolers is that my kids know that when I'm not with them, I actually do something other than pray on my knees for them (although I do that too!)  They realize when I'm excited that I have other interests that don't take away from my vocation in any way but add to my faith and science is one of those things.

When I got changed, I cannot even tell you how excited I was to be teaching science.  It gives me such an opportunity to infuse faith and practical real life situations for students who are at the perfect point for molding into dedicated and faithful Catholic Christians.  These kids are asking all the right questions; "How could the big bang happen if Adam and Eve happened?" "Why is sex before marriage wrong?" "What about stem cell research?" "Why are people poor?" "Why is there war?"  It all goes back to science and ties in with everything that they want to know. They want to know that God created everything, that scripture is telling the truth, just maybe without historical accuracy.  They want to know that God created their body in a good and loving way to mirror how much He loves them.  They want to hear that their life is special and cannot be thrown away and cannot be replicated.  They want to know why there is greed over resources and places that causes the meek and humble to be hurt.  They want to know that death is not the end of everything and that the way we live really matters.

At the same time, aside from all the big questions of life, we have a lot of fun.  They are still kids and they want to know; "Why do people have the hiccups?" "How do the waves get bigger when we are down the shore in the summer?" "Can we blow up a.... (The boys always want to blow something up - the answer is always no.)?"

Basically, I love everything about it.  I feel like I get paid... no wait, that doesn't happen... to laugh all day!  And I love them.  Our kids need to know that we love them, in school, in the parish, at Mass when they are being obnoxious, or when they are serving with reverence, and at home.  God is love.  Let's show them Him.

Nightmares

I always have really vivid dreams.  Lots of color, imagery, movement and I almost always remember them.  However, I haven't had many great nights of sleep this week.

It all began on Sunday night with the school alarm going off in the middle of the night.  I had to get dressed and go out there to see what happened before I could go back to bed. I'm also very clumsy and the night ended with an alcoholic beverage spilling all over me... I know, its wild.  I had to take a second shower before I went back to bed because I smelled like this disgusting drink that was left on the school steps by whoever was trying to break in.

Anyway, back to the dream.  This morning we all slept in because we had Mass today with the kids in school so I woke up a little later than I normally do.  In my dream, I was running through a desert and I was afraid.  When I woke up I was all out of sorts.

At school, I wished I was running through a desert... my kids were off the wall, my room was hot, sticky, and wet, it smelled of middle schoolers, and I just felt like I got nothing completed and anything that I did get done was wrong!

Now the nightmare really came to life in religion.  I love teaching religion and I love my students but the questions they asked today and the things they didn't know made me want to... well... run through a desert.

From nuns and priests being married to the Trinity being "impossible" I was left feeling less than confident in the future of my student's religious education.  They, of course, thought my reactions were hilarious.

I just want to know what we are going to do for our children to bring them to God and to teach them to love our Church if they have such a lack of experience.

Now I know it's not all bad... the other day one of my boys who serves at Mass told me how upset he was that people didn't bow before they received the Eucharist... it made my heart melt.  However, some of them really are clueless.

There's really no point to this post except that we need to pray for them and do our best to surround them with what matters.  The problem isn't that they are not being taught.  It is that the second they leave us they are attacked by everything else.

Our Lady of Good Counsel, Pray for Us and Them!