I know... it's not possible... don't worry I'm not suggesting anything heretical, haha. But I cannot help but wonder sometimes what it would look like to see the whole picture of myself or of someone else's soul at a particular moment of grace from the eyes of God. He obviously sees so much more but in that moment, for us to see, it would be breathtaking. The past, present, and future of a person plus their unique makeup of personality, nature, dreams, hopes, fears, and sins all at the same time from one point of view - it's amazing. And all of that perspective, all that knowledge at once fits into the equation of what grace to give... what God's will is for them individually.
I'm always trying to figure Him out... I love solving big questions. I know this isn't one I can solve, haha... but I still always try. When I know that there is a decision I have to make I think to myself, "How is He playing this round?" I know I'm being fresh, haha, but I really do take it very seriously. I think about what decision would be contrary to my own selfish will. I think about the future effects of any decision. I think about what I've done in the past. I think about my usual sins, my usual goodness... I try to see the pattern, the design. I never succeed.
I should probably just trust that God will give me the grace to follow His will when He has planned it. However, I still am so fascinated by how He works that I just can't stop analyzing it. I mean, try to imagine the way God sees you in each moment with all your complexities at once. It's mind boggling. Then add in the fact that you are part of the Body of Christ, all joined together - and He sees all of that at once... each of us individually and each of us together as one. How can we not trust?!
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